Let me start off by saying if it wasn’t already clear from the “about me” section of my blog, I looove Burbank. I’m also a huge believer in shopping local (especially in Magnolia Park) and giving back to the community. This widely circulated meme has made me burst into tears on more than one occasion.
With all this being said, I have a dark confession to make. As much as I advocate shopping local and I really do (just look at my monthly card statement and see my Dino’s Pizza and Audrey K Boutique charges – it’s kind of alarming) I’m super lazy when it comes to everyday stuff like food and household goods and pretty much buy everything from bananas to toilet paper online. Why? Well, part of me figures most of the time would be a big box purchase anyway from a Ralphs, Target, etc (the sales tax though, I know, I know…) and the second part is time. Not so much that I don’t have time to shop but laundry detergent will get to my door faster with Amazon Prime than me remembering to go to Target and buy it. It’s a sad but true fact. Because of this, I have some pretty odd combinations of things from Amazon shipped and the occasional lost package. For someone who worked retail and customer service for over a decade of my life I really dread calling customer service when something goes wrong. When I had a package show up as delivered and it wasn’t this week the impending feeling of doom set in. I waited a day hoping that it would show up and even flagged down my mail carrier asking her if she’s seen it… alas she had not so it’s time to call Amazon CS. When I spoke to “Van” I explained that I was home when it was “delivered” and my dogs make for excellent doorbells and so the chances of someone sneaking off with it are pretty unlikely. Then the questions started, the highlights of the conversation were as follows:
CS: “Did you check under your doormat?”
Me: “Uh, it’s a giant prime pantry box”
CS: “What about a neighbor, maybe the driver didn’t feel safe leaving the box?”
Me: “Nope don’t think so they probably would have let me know and honestly my house is the house that UPS, etc usually leaves stuff with because I’m home during the day.”
CS: Is it in your backyard perhaps?
Me: No, it’s not.
CS: Well what about under your car?
Me: I drive a Prius, it wouldn’t fit under there.
**Awkward laughter from the rep after each answer**
We go back and fourth like this for a few minutes. Now this is not a knock on Amazon CS, it’s easy to make fun of this conversation but I understand that they really do have to ask these questions. Finally she offers me a refund, I ask her if she can just replace the items and she says no just a refund. I tell her fine and she puts me on hold. A few minutes later she comes back and actually tells me that her system is making her “give the post office a chance” and I need to call back on Monday. No offer to follow up, just see if you can find it and call back. I was a little stunned because in the rare times I’ve had something go missing I’ve never had this result but I ended the call and asked Siri to remind me to call back on Monday. All in all, I’ve wasted about 20 minutes of my life over three 12 packs of SURGE soda, fabric softer and Jet Dry. As I type it I feel even more ridiculous than I did ordering it.
The lesson? Maybe I should just grab some fabric softener tomorrow at Handy Market with my Tri Tip Sandwich.